February Festivities

Love it or hate it, you’re probably aware that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  If you’re “supposed” to know and you forgot — well, you’re welcome.  Glad you dodged that bullet.  It’s a low-key event here in Fordeville.  P and I were trying to go out for a casual, sort-of-Valentine’s dinner tonight but were thwarted by the lack o’babysitter blues.  So we hung out with our pint-sized valentines and prepared some treats.

I have more fun up my sleeve for the kids tomorrow, but today seemed like a better day to celebrate since we’re all home together.  Like I said, a mellow holiday for us.  And that was more than enough. 

Because, really, who wants something like this?

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Look, if you buy me a necklace that contains an engraved paragraph with this sort of nonsense, I will leave you forever.  On the spot.  Even if I have spent four hours cooking whatever is on that stove.  Yes, even if we have two children together.

And, while we’re at it — can we just look at my other favorite Kay ad, just for kicks? 

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Every kiss begins with give.me.a.fucking.break.  Is this not begging to be a SNL skit?  The actors in this spot have probably not only fired their agents by now, but may be serving life sentences for gutting them to pieces.  Unless they were exonerated on the basis of a “Humiliation Too Great To Bear” defense.  Ditto all Jared Jewelry commercial actors.

By the way, if you google “Every kiss begins with Kay,” you’ll be amused by the level and reach of viral hatred for this ad campaign — complete with its own Facebook page and spoof videos. 

But I digress.  Back to celebratory thoughts.

Did you know that tomorrow is also a day of other esteemed commemorations?  Seems odd to compete with the Hallmark hugeness of St. Valentine, but allow me to list them for you in case you care to seek alternative celebration causes.

National Ferris Wheel Day.  OK — I’m not clear if this is intended to mark the anniversary of its creation, or to encourage all people worldwide go out and board this ride.  The latter seems ill-planned, given that it’s winter and all. Unless this was a holiday of southern hemisphere origins.  In any case, I’ll opt out.  I’m terrified of ferris wheels.  They are so open and vertigo-inducing.  And they remind me of an episode of “Emergency One” (remember that show from the 70s?) when a ferris wheel got stuck, a boy fell, rescues ensued.  Gah.

National Organ Donor Day.  This is no joke.  I won’t be preachy — you can all make your own personal decisions and we’ll leave it that.

Clean Out Your Computer Day.  This is a great idea.  I am more than a little guilty of digital hoarding and my devices could all use a good purge.  Maybe I don’t need checklists dating back to our apartment move in 2004.  Or address labels for holiday cards in 2008.  And I could move even more photos onto a back up drive or external site.  Like this one.

An innocent enough photo of my husband at a lovely dinner while we vacationed in Italy a few years ago.  It was all so other-wordly.  Until you look at the scenery “behind” him.  This guy nearly ruined my carpaccio.  But we were always tempted to repurpose this photo as a greeting card or something. What do you think?

And you guys thought February was dull!  See, there’s lots of fun to be had.  And it’s all just a warm up for the raging parties of President’s Day (I have no corresponding cookie decor) and also winter break (aka, The Week the Kids Climb Up the Walls).  

But the spring clothes are in the stores, the Easter catalogs are arriving in the mail.  Spring is certainly not yet in the air, but its advertising claws are starting to get the band going. 

Here’s to hoping.

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Comments

  1. Nessa Tallo says:

    I’m just happy there are no other valentine’s pictures up here that are teetering on indecent. Happy Valentine’s Day… xo

  2. Jen T says:

    When I read the alternate holidays to my family, both Ben and Ryan were confused by the inclusion of the ferris wheel as a winter holiday. Ryan also said, “Oh, WOW!” at the photo of P.

  3. Oh My God!!!!! Now I know why I like you so much. That Kay commercial with the storm is the creepiest thing I have ever seen. It’s like being trapped in a horror house with a serial killer played by Keanu Reeves. I get chills every time it comes on TV.

    But nothing can compare to the chills I got when I saw the lovely photo of your husband with “butt crack” person in the background. That’s just wrong!!!! Is it a guy? Jeez.

    Your kiddies are darlings and I loved the cookies they made.

    I’ve never understood the fuss over Valentine’s Day. I want to scream, “Don’t tell me when to feel in love, Hallmark.” My pal over at Celluloid Zombie wrote a quirky Top Ten on Movie Couples in honor of Valentine’s Day. I love his first paragraph:

    “It’s that time of year. Well, that day of the year. Cupid is abroad in the land, drawing back his bow and forcing men everywhere to do the things they really should be doing all year round, without his chubby help.”

    Couldn’t agree more. Here’s a link if you want to check out his movie couple picks: http://celluloidzombie.com

    • fordeville says:

      Thanks for the compliments.
      I heart your friend (pun intended) over at Celluloid Zombie. I was, just today, literally, writing about Annie Hall (my favorite movie, ever) over on BlogHer: http://www.blogher.com/when-annie-met-harry. And he also picked Lost in Translation. Swoon. I will definitely go back to his site.

      As for you and your solidarity on the Kay commercial (plus anti-Keanu sentiment), you rock (bad pun). And this, you may love: http://bitchmagazine.org/post/every-kiss-begins-with-fear.

      As for the Italian ass, yes, it was a guy. If that was a woman’s bottom, well, I just — I don’t know, I don’t feel so good…

      • Great post over at Blogher. I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never seen Annie Hall in its entirety. Bad Margaret.

        • fordeville says:

          Please go and watch it! I will take personal responsibility if you don’t like it. But I suspect you will — a lot.

          • Richard says:

            I second that. I guess this explains which of the movies on my list Margaret has seen 0.5 of. Don’t worry, I’ve already provided her with a list of movies she needs to see, the length of which would stretch across the Atlantic.

            Interesting photo from the restaurant. It mystifies me how you can have half your ass hanging out like that and not be aware of it. Either the guy has spent so long exposing his half-moon to the world that it is no longer sensitive to temperature, or he keeps his wallet somewhere extra safe.

            Thanks for stopping by Celluloid Zombie and reading my list. Glad you liked it.

          • fordeville says:

            Thanks for your comment, Richard. Your site is great and, as a fellow film junkie, I’ll definitely be back.

            As for the Italian ass, I just can’t explain. But the guy made no attempt to adjust the situation the entire night. It was, by far, the least attractive bit of Italian scenery on our trip.

  4. Erinn says:

    Those Kay commercials make us SO uncomfortable. My husband and I seem to lose the will and ability to talk when them come on. (It’s kind of like the adult equivalent of when you were watching a movie with your parents as a teenager and a sort of racy scene came on. The room goes quiet. Everyone looks at a different wall or stares at their shoes mumbling something unrelated until it’s over.)

    Those spots make us feel like alien life forms from the planet Jaded.

    Who are these people who define their love for one another using an Open Heart Collection anything? They must exist. I hate that they are out there — viewing our concept of romance as inferior, unpatriotic, and snarky.

    That Italian ass-crack photo is a hoot.

  5. I knew I forgot to do something today! :::Off to clean out my computer!::: Thanks for the reminder!

  6. the mrs says:

    You are so right, re: Kay jewelry. The Mr would get a black eye for Valentine’s if he brought that mess across our threshold.

    In related news, congrats on the crack 😉

  7. Kim says:

    Between “every kiss begins with give.me.a.fucking.break” and the unintentional photo bomb in your beloved’s picture, this is worthy of the title “Best. Blog. Post. Ever.” I may create that award just to honor you with it, in fact.

  8. Hahaha! That picture is priceless! I definitely think it could have a second life as a greeting card. Do it!

    • fordeville says:

      I’m so tempted. It would entail some sort of overly frilly/sweet Christmas background and a badly placed pun. I just have to remember to leave some of my relatives off of that mailing list. But I’ll gladly send you an e-version when it’s done 🙂

  9. anna says:

    wow, i did have no idea feb was so busy. though i did know the kay commercials kinda suck. i also didn’t know europeans were allowed to show ass-cracks in resturants. i thought they were supposed to be all classy and crap like that. see, you learn something new every day!

    ps the cookies are so cute, happy v day!

  10. Theta Mom says:

    OMG! Whoever is behind the ad campaigns at Kay needs to come back from 1985. We are SO over it. This gave me a laugh and for the record, it SHOULD be the start of a funny SNL skit!!

  11. Elle says:

    “Every kiss begins with give.me.a.fucking.break.” That is one of the most hysterical things I’ve read. And the picture of your husband and the asscrack, priceless. And I agree, definitely American. If that pic was on a greeting card I would totally buy it and send it to my mother-in-law. She would just love that….not. 😀

    • fordeville says:

      I’ll send you a copy when it’s done and you can decide around the holidays if she deserves it or not 🙂
      I am reserving public comment on which of my relatives is under consideration for the Ass Holiday Greeting. Plus it’s just too early to tell.

  12. We aren’t a Valentine’s Day couple either. Such a stupid Hallmark holiday. It is so much more fun to spend it with kids then to celebrate the mushy gushy love fest of it all!

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kim Forde, Kim Forde. Kim Forde said: Did you know today marks three other, lesser-known holidays? More here, plus my Valentine's Day loathing of awful ads. http://t.co/Prwvwye […]

  2. […] Fordeville Diaries. What do you get when you start a post with cute pictures of kids making Valentine’s Day cookies and end it with some guy’s […]

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