Girls’ Night In


Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There’s no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.

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After my recent baking mishap that led to the spiked egg nog-scented holiday cards, you may wonder why I am hosting a little holiday cookie baking party next week.  Have I finally lost my mind once and for all?

Not entirely.  At least not on this point.

It’s simple.  I had to lure the female members of my family together for a Christmastime gathering.  And if someone told you to come over for holiday cookies and wine, wouldn’t you show?

Yeah, I thought so.

This all started when I found out that, this year, my cousin and her husband have rented a ski house for Christmas — which means that I won’t get to see her part of the family that day.  Or even that week.  Which just doesn’t work for me.

So, first I tried reasoning with them.  I told them they would freeze to death up at the ski place.

Then, I tried scare tactics.  I reminded them of when we all did a ski getaway for Christmas in 2003.  Due to the extreme height of the snow banks, the bitter cold and the middle of nowhere vibe — as well as the lack of hot water and our slow descent into insanity — it is forever known as Misery Christmas (as in the Kathy Bates movie).  Did they really want to make the sequel?

They weren’t budging.  Something about it’s already paid for, they’ll have lots of fun, blah, blah, blah.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.  My mom and I agreed on the plot, which I hatched during the Annual Day After Thanksgiving Catch Phrase Tournament.  I was on a losing team and about three wines in.  My cousin and I were screaming at some inept member of our family for the poor clues he was giving out.  And, because timing is everything, I decided to give my plan a go.  I think it went like this.

Me:  “I can’t believe you guys are going skiing for Christmas.”

My cousin:  “Yeah.  Sorry.”

Me:  “But when will we get together?”

My aunt:  “Did you bring more red wine?  And why did your team lose the first round of Catch Phrase so quickly?”

Me:  “Wait.  That’s coming from the woman who somehow turned the clue for Uncle Tom’s Cabin into Uncle Ben’s Tavern.”

My aunt:  “Did I do that?”

Me:  “Yes.  Anyway. What if we just get all the girls together?  We could, uh, bake cookies or something.”

My aunt:  “We’re not really a group of bakers.  You know that, right?  I mean, we could do a mean lasagna production line, but the cookies are not really my thing.”

Me:  “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.  But my mom has good recipes and I’ll ply you with wine.”

My aunt:  “Ohhhh.  Wine party?  Of course.  Which day?”

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And thus, a sentimental holiday tradition for the ages, in the true spirit of Christmas, was born.  Much like you see in those Lifetime movies or Hallmark TV Specials.  Plus it works well with my aspiration to become a better baker.

In reviewing the essentials, I’m almost ready:

–Mom’s fabulous cookie recipes:  check.

–Cookie press:  check.

–Cookie cutters and decor:  check.

–Cookie tins and gift bags:  check.

–Butter, eggs, flour, sugar:  check.

–Chocolate (because these Dark Chocolate Espresso Cookies have to be in my immediate future):  check.

–Two eager mini-helpers:  check.

–Wine: check.

–More wine:  check.

–Emergency nuclear incident backup stash of wine:  check.

It’s pretty much going to go like this:

My mom will be the only good baker in attendance.  But she can’t eat gluten, so it will be an exercise in torture for her.  She will likely oversee the operation and probably save us from ourselves.  Thank goodness for her.  20 times over.

I will do my best to assist  my mom, but I can’t neglect the wine opening either.

My youngest sister will probably be playing with the kids in an effort to secure the title of Favorite Aunt.

The dog will be inspecting the ground for scraps, quickly identifying and sticking with the group’s weakest link.

My aunt and cousin will be in charge of wine refills and will probably ask, more than once, “What’s with all the cookies?”

And, in between, we’ll get to have that amazing holiday catch-up after all.  Who knows — maybe we’ll do it every year, even if I have to compete with Misery Christmas sequels.

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Remember to check out Duncan Hines’ website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

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Comments

  1. Ed says:

    Sellout! You’re a corporate sellout! By which I mean, congratulations for being recognized as the hilarious and well-written blogger you are.

    Now where did I put that can of Comstock Blueberry Pie Filling?

    • fordeville says:

      Ha, thanks Ed.
      Look, you’ll never see me promoting stuff that has nothing to do with my life. I think we can both agree that a major manufacturer of chocolate goodness aligns nicely with my priorities. Now, calling all vineyards…

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