There are many things I don’t really need but would happily accept. For example, another excuse to not join a gym. Large wheels of European cheese. A bigger cup of Starbucks.
Hold the phone. There’s a bigger cup of Starbucks available, you say?
Oh, yes. It’s new. Because, sometimes — just sometimes — a 24 oz Venti is simply not enough.
Usually, a grande (16 oz, or medium in real life) is just fine for me — but there have been days, and I remember (or rue) them well, when even the Venti looked and felt like it was the size of a mere espresso shot. Like Amateur Hour for Caffeine Addicts. And for days like those, when they rear their ugly heads again, I’ll be able to stroll (or crawl) in and order the Trenta. All 31 ounces of it.
Clearly, the Venti was the gateway drug to the Trenta. And here I am, all ready to go and see my dealer for a fix of the next big thing.
Say it with me: I’ll have a Trenta skim, no-foam — nevermind. Yeah, I am one of those. It’s true. My husband won’t order my coffee for me out of sheer humiliation, and I can hardly blame him.
Ever so quick (and not so wrong) to jump on mocking the Trenta and its symbolism of American Super-Sized culture, this graphic popped up in some publications written by Our Neighbors to the North.
{Photo courtesy http://news.nationalpost.com}
They do have a point with the whole human stomach capacity comparison. (I do wonder if that’s a Canadian stomach or an American stomach, the latter I imagine being vastly larger on average). But how about this for justification? Think about the hole that will be formed by the ulcer after consuming too much Starbucks, and that should just about free up enough room in the stomach’s capacity to handle the Trenta. In my scientific opinion, of course.
So while I can’t pledge a daily purchase (not without a second job to support the habit), I am happy to say Benvenuti to the Trenta as a trustworthy back up. It’s a nice caffeinated safety net — and good to know it will be there in my times of need. For about $5 a cup, I assume.
I’ll have the trenta size cheese wheel please. Mmmmm
Now you’re onto something. Trenta Brie. Trenta Gouda. Trenta Stilton. I’m in.
When we’re all 800 pounds from drinking 916 ml, high-fat, high-sugar coffee beverages, Starbucks will have to come out with the Bari, a half-ounce shot of coffee for those who have undergone bariatric surgery.
So true. That, and a catheter for Trenta drinkers. We should send these suggestions to their R&D folks.
Okay, I’m just gonna put this out there and suffer the consequences. I hate Starbucks. I hate everything about it, from the overpriced, overly precious brews they concoct to that satanic logo that stares at me whenever I walk past one of the their little crack dens. The whole coffee maven thing went right over my head years ago. So, while you are standing in line waiting for your Berlusconi-sized, non-foamy $18 mega-tasse, I’ll happily sip whatever black liquid I can coax out of the machine in the pantry. There, I said it.
Next up, what’s the fascination with Twitter? I don’t get that, either.
Steve, all valid points. I may be addicted but my denial does not run deep enough to put up a fight with what you’ve said. Some of their coffee is burnt. All of it is overpriced. And the lines are outrageous. But I do like my daily and high maintenance concoction. Plus, while I’m on the long line overpaying, you are 1) dying a toxic death from the office pantry coffee and 2) in the office.
What can I say — we all have our senseless vices.
Now, regarding Twitter, I will put up a bigger fight. You were, in fact, made to tweet. You just don’t know it yet.
31 oz? That is insane! lol I’m scared to see how much that baby will cost! I only do starbucks once a month as my bookclub meets in a bookstore where that is the only vendor. (I should start bringing my own tea:) )