Who Runs This Place?

Who’s in charge around here, you ask?

That would be me — I’m the mayor, CEO and head typist of Fordeville. Unless you’re looking for money.

Basically, I think life’s everyday insanity can be great writing material. Maybe you’ll agree. I can tell you this much for starters.

I don’t usually lead with this, but I’m a born and bred Jersey Girl. After a long hiatus in NYC, I eventually moved back. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty much loving suburbia. Nobody was more surprised by this than me.

I’ve been married for 14 years to a fabulous guy. This photo is not really a fair representation of us, since it was taken on a rare night out without our children. So don’t let the looks of relaxation and joy throw you.

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We have three kids — ages 11, 9 and 5.  They are wonderful but they can be small terrorists too. And we pretty much figure it out as we go. This is one of a handful of photos of them in existence where nobody’s head is cut off, nobody is crying, they are all in the frame and generally looking in the right direction. But let’s be serious. Most days, they are really just plotting their next move to take down my remaining shreds of sanity.

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And this was Señor, Former Head Household Pet and Posthumous Chief Bacon Officer of Fordeville. We lost him last year at age 15, and I keep him on this page because he and I traded letters sometimes — you can find them here and here.  And also because I can’t bring myself to delete him from this intro since he was always, by far, the most well-like member of our family. He snored louder than an 80 year-old man and hated me for bearing the children who took down what was once his kingdom. As you can see, he made his attempts to escape.

 

As for me, I recently went back to work doing PR and Communications after an eight-year hiatus at home full-time with my kids. Following a brief adjustment period of expanding my daytime wardrobe beyond yoga pants and washing my hair on a regular basis, it was all smooth(ish) sailing. My job is in municipal government and if I were, say, the kind of person who’d want to write a book based on what I saw and heard every day, this would be considered a topical gold mine. If I were like that.

(Relax, neighbors, I’m kidding. And bound to the terms of my Employee Handbook.)

That covers the big stuff. We can talk about my stalking of/undying love for/secret imaginary marriage to Bono another day.

Enough about my blog. You can also find me on other sites. Because, sometimes, people have a momentary lapse in sanity and let me write for them. Like here:

Sometimes, people even let me get up on a stage and read my work. Even when I was about 239 months pregnant and nearly passing out from abject fear.
And then there were those times I got to be published. In real books. Crazy, right?
This one went to #1 on the Amazon Humor Essays list, and then made it on the NY Times Best Seller List. It’s true! More on that here.

 

And then I was lucky enough to be in this one, too. Find out more here.

And this one!

 And this one!

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And this one!

 

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AND, the newest one!

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And then there were those two time when BlogHer named me as a Humor Voice of the Year (2013 and 2014). How fun is that? And how crazy are they?

 

So that’s the story. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my medium-to-intense social media addiction. So if you’d like to follow along on Facebook, I’m over here.  If you prefer me contained to 140 characters or less (I don’t blame you), you can follow me on Twitter.  For photos of the everyday madness —  often out of focus — I’m on Instagram. And if you prefer me completely silent but still think I have great taste in appetizers and home decor, come see me on Pinterest.  To contact me directly or to remind me to turn off the crock pot, drop an email over to fordeville05 at gmail dot com.

Thanks so much for stopping by!