Tales of a Vacation Avoider

Today is the last day of my vacation guest blogging gig.  Which means it’s the last day of my vacation.  And I’m not ready to process that, so let’s instead talk about all the great writers who were here this week, inlcuding my final guest blogger today.

It’s my pleasure to have Anna from Random Handprints here to wrap up the week.  Much like me, Anna left the city for the suburbs and has been adjusting to life ever since.  Unlike me, she is a seasoned blogging pro, going more than four years strong.  She writes about her three kids, food, holidays and – perhaps closest to my heart – a newer section of content called Instructions for My Husband.  A must-read – especially this entry, which made me suspect that we may be married to the same man.

I’m thrilled that she agreed to share her unique angle on (non) vacationing with us (as I burn bask in the sun and try to hold a cocktail with one hand while chasing two toddlers).  Be sure to check out her full blog and follow her on Twitter @RandomHandprint.

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I am really excited to be guest blogging here at The Fordeville Diaries today because it is actually (to paraphrase Pee-wee Herman) my very first guest blog, ever. I am a Fordeville Diaries blogger. I’m. Really. Excited.

But my gig as a guest blogger isn’t the only thing I’m excited about today. I’m also excited that I am guest blogging here so the Lady of The Fordeville Diaries House can take a “vacation” with her two small children and her husband. And let’s admit it, the nicest I can do here is to put “vacation” in quotes. Because as anyone who has kids knows – there are vacations, and then there are trips with your kids.

Let me give a full disclosure right up front that I am a total vacation avoider. My husband begs us to take a family vacation every few months, and I refuse with a litany of excuses – we can’t afford it, the kids shouldn’t miss even a day of the rigors of the kindergarten and second grade curriculums, let’s wait and take a trip in a few months when the weather will be just perfect for going to… you get the idea.

I wasn’t always a vacation avoider. Oh no, before kids I liked to travel anywhere, anytime. Then we took our first post-baby trip. A modest undertaking to an all-inclusive resort in Florida. Days before we were to go, there was a hurricane. A big hurricane. The hotel suffered extensive damage and was forced to close and cancel our reservations. My husband insisted on re-booking.

After the questionable success of our thrice scheduled Florida trip, he next lobbied for (and won) a trip to Arizona. In August. We (and by we, I mean my husband) thought this vacation would be made even more perfect with the addition of his parents. This trip reminded me to never complain again that there is no one to “help” with the kids. Suddenly, with my in-laws around, the idea of being just with my husband and kids (even in Arizona in August) sounded like paradise.

But I digress, this post isn’t about my bad vacations. This post is about wishing the residents of Fordeville a great family vacation. I just know you’ll have a wonderful time and come back tan, rested and gloating about drinking daiquiris on the beach as the kids played adorably in the sand, all while the rest of us shoveled our cars out of yet another snowstorm and spilled scalding half-decaf coffee on our almost clean work clothes because some people can’t wait a minute, dammit, to get on the train.

If you’ve never had a Yellow Bird, I highly recommend it as my drink of choice when lounging around tropical climes. It’s a jigger of Rum with a ½ jigger each of Galliano and crème de Banana, mixed with orange juice, pineapple juice and a splash of lime. I only have one when my kids are playing indoor beach, their only option for waves and sand as the offspring of a vacation avoider.

And when you get back home, I suggest you make one more Yellow Bird, then head over to your DVR for the episodes you missed when you were away of The Office and 30 Rock. While you watch the reminders of your work life that sit waiting for you Monday morning, and you drink the last sips of your Yellow Bird and take a moment to wonder… maybe there is something pretty damn great about this whole vacation thing after all.