My dad’s annual visit from the wilds of Montana is winding down, and we’ve had a great week.
First, there was the much-anticipated trip to Northlandz, the world’s largest model railway. My two small train junkies love this place.
Second, there has been plenty of food — mostly revolving around hitting up some of my dad’s old favorites from his days as a NJ dweller. Before he embraced his River Runs Through It lifestyle.
Third, we’ve had lots of family time — with my sisters, my aunts and uncles. It’s always nice to get everyone together.
And, in between, there was the ongoing and unintentional “Could I handle a third child?” test. I’m not saying my dad acts like or is as needy as a child. But there have been times when he has contributed to the household chaos. And it surfaced mainly in three categories: Technical Assistance, Time Checks and Political Banter (where our views are 180 degrees apart — sort of like a father/daughter Carville and Matalin).
These comments and questions were often layered over the already-screeching Toddlerspeak within the house. Like this:
—–
Child 1: “I neeeeed juuuice.”
Dad: “What time is it?”
Child 2: “Can weeeeee watch Doooooora?”
Dad: “Is it time for The O’Reilly Factor?”
—–
Child 1: “Where are the cooookiiieees?”
Dad: “Any idea what the time is?”
Child 2: “I waaaant to go to the plaaaaaayground.”
Dad: “Nancy Pelosi is the most hated woman in America. She is ruining our lives.”
—–
Child 1: “Nooooo naaaaaap.”
Dad: “You got the time?”
Child 2: “Diiiiegggggo.”
Dad: “If Obama can’t truly support tort reform, this country can never be fixed. What channel is Fox News again? How do you turn off Dora so I can catch O’Reilly?”
—–
Child 1: “Grillllllled cheeeeese.”
Dad: “What’s the time?”
Child 2: “Noooo grillllled cheeese. Macaroniiiiii.”
Dad: “I think I just wiped out all of your bookmarks on the computer. Did you need them?”
—–
Child 1: “Nooooo carrotttts.”
Dad: “What time do you have?”
Child 2: “Noooo, noooo, NOOOOOO.”
Dad: “I think I deleted your DVR shows. How do I record Fox?”
—–
To be clear: I love my dad. I see him once a year, so I really look forward to his visit. And I have so enjoyed having him here.
But.
I can’t talk policy with a level head and make grilled cheese at the same time.
I don’t know where Fox News is because it has never been shown in this house.
My ears can only process so much at once when both of my kids are whining.
And.
The time? I don’t have an internal time chip — and I don’t use the position of the sun. I am, in fact, looking at the same clocks that are available for your reference while staying here, Dad. You’ll find one in each room. Or check the cable box while watching O’Reilly.
So. For Christmas — I’m’ thinking this.
And this.
That being said, I’ll definitely be sad when he and his right-wing agenda go home for another year.
But — oh God — next year is an election year. I don’t know what we’re going to do.
I think I might be married to your dad. Weird. My husband is the same way. (Politically and with the weird need to constantly know the time and expects me to know off the top of my head–maybe it’s a conservative thing? I wouldn’t know.)It sounds like everything is/was going well, though! I hope you enjoy the rest of the time with your dad!
If I get a buy-one-get-one-free deal on the big, wearable clocks, I’ll let you know 🙂
I heard Sarah Palin is planning on jumping into the race – and Flavor Flav is going to be her running mate – no I’m serious!!!
Glad your dad made it out – pass on my regards!
Palin/Flav 2012.
Can you imagine the bumper sticker?
Fun, fun, fun. At least it didn’t end in Dad and Child #2 wrestling on the floor for control of the remote. 😉
Remember, we still have a few days left. I think the Dora/O’Reilly Remote Smackdown is quickly approaching. Photos to follow.
{My money’s on the 2 year-old.}
love this! my dad’s thing is to always want to be fed at his “grown-up person” time (but with a retiree’s insistence on specific times) which of course is different from the kid’s have-to-win-because-they-are-kids times.
so over the course of each day, on a multi-day visit, we have this convo groundhog day style:
dad: i like to eat lunch at noon, even 12:30 would work.
me: no, we have to eat at exactly 11 the kids nap at noon
dad: well, i think 12 or even 12:30 is a better lunch time.
me: agreed. we’re eating at exactly 11.
I love the Groundhog Day reference — perfect!
Oh, those conservatives we love. Been there. Fox News may be the only thing more annoying than Dora, and that bar is mighty high.
Yeah, you might need to negotiate a moratorium on political talk next year. That or temporarily disconnect your cable.
Maybe I can Dora up as a debate contender against Bachman.
Perhaps it’s in both of your best interest to schedule Dad’s visit in 2012 a bit later… say, after Tuesday, Nov. 6?
Only if my people win! Otherwise, I’ll never hear the end of it.
I have a slight crush on your dad! Even though we are on opposite ends politically (although I am a socially conservative girl). I have a feeling we would have some very interesting conversations! I love that he moved to a place, Montana, that beckoned to him and that he’s always loved. I love Montana and Wyoming too, because they are so pristine and beautiful…and although I’m not a hunter, I have a fascination with hunting trips especially in those states, and it’s an interest of mine to tag along on a hunting trip (anywhere) just to see how it “works”!! He also looks like a loving grandfather, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s quite handsome! ; )
But my question for you is: if you grew up with his extreme right-wing political views, how is it that you ended up with liberal political views and came to “see the light”? 😉
Erica, the truth is that you’re not the first to have this reaction. The man tends to charm people, it seems.
As for my differing political views: Probably rooted in sheer rebellion. My sisters and I are all left-leaning after hearing for years about the virtues of Reaganomics.
Lol that’s great! ;D Happy New Year to you!!
: )