Ten

A decade ago, I was rooting against science. Not for any dire reasons. But when you are seven days overdue with your first child and your doctor estimates that said child weighs more than nine pounds, you kind of want her to be wrong. Because you’ve never given birth but you’ve heard and read allllll about it — and don’t physics just […]

[Continue reading...]

2016 Exit Strategy

“What does this song mean? My whole life, I don’t know what this song means. I mean, ‘Should old acquaintance be forgot?’ Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?” — When […]

[Continue reading...]

The Oddities of Gratitude

Health. Family. General well-being. Caffeine. Like most, I am thankful for many things, which seem to be amplified during the holiday season. One thing for which I didn’t expect to feel gratitude was the loss of my husband’s job. We sort of knew this was going to happen. His company was bought and, invariably in those […]

[Continue reading...]

Kitchen Reno PTSD

I think we can all agree that this isn’t a home improvement or interior design blog. In those cases, I’d have much nicer fonts here and a fresh new color scheme each year. My niche is perhaps best described as chronicles of domestic failure, in which case our most recent renovation fits right in here content-wise. […]

[Continue reading...]

Love Letter for 50

I bet you don’t find yourself writing love letters very often. I know I don’t. But it’s not that I never did. I’m a sap at heart, and I bet my husband can pull out a fair amount of sentimental cards I wrote on special occasions of years past. But I think that was a long […]

[Continue reading...]

Free Alexa

Request for Reassignment To: Amazon Headquarters From: Alexa Date: 25 August 2016 Status: URGENT I am writing today to formally request reassignment to another family. Since my arrival in Fordeville on or about June 20, 2016, my experience here has been wholly unsatisfactory. Said household consists of two adults with three young children, ages nine, […]

[Continue reading...]

She’s Seven

My, how summer birthdays have evolved. I can remember feeling sorry for the kids with summer birthdays when I was growing up. They missed out getting a class party. Sure, they might have a celebration at their house for the kids who were around and received their postal invites, but they seemed pissed about not getting the […]

[Continue reading...]

I Didn’t Mean to Buy a Fixer-Upper

I said it again a few days ago, as my husband and I began the process of preparing for our latest renovation project. “You know, I really didn’t think we were buying a fixer-upper when we decided on this house.” He looked at me incredulously, as if I were either joking or completely insane. But I […]

[Continue reading...]

Life with a Rising Food Network Star

We’re going to have a meal-time quiz. Please have a look at these statements. “The sear on this meat is great and I’m impressed that the inside is also so tender.” “Your cake is moist and flavorful, but I think you could’ve done more with the presentation.” “How long did you let this marinade for?” […]

[Continue reading...]

The Last Third Birthday

Here I am, back in Sapville, celebrating another one of my kids’ birthdays, wondering how it got here so quickly and feeling my usual punched-in-the-gut sensation over the passage of time. I don’t have a two year-old anymore. Ohmygod, I shouldn’t blog after a glass of wine. OK, two glasses. As my son’s third birthday […]

[Continue reading...]