Greetings from Pre-Holiday Crazytown. Surely you’ve been there, or perhaps you are even visiting right now. My stay here will last about two weeks, during which time I may implode.
Big work deadlines. Hosting 20 people for Christmas. A not-really-decorated house. An intimidating shopping list. And more big work deadlines (bah humbug, Corporate America).
If I did yoga, this would be where I’d insert some appropriate term to describe how I should be clear, calm and focused. Instead I just had my third cup of coffee and wish I still smoked cigarettes.
In my travels through this land of madness, I went to Toys R Us on Friday night. No, I wasn’t thinking clearly. Yes, I regretted it immediately.
But there was an upside. In my sort of punchy and way overtired state, I really got a strange kick out of some of the toys on the shelves. Let me break from my insanity for a few minutes to share some of my amusement.
Item #1: Barbie Glam Vacation Jet. So, for those of you who wondered how Barbie fared coming out of the recession, don’t worry. She’s living large and travels exclusively by private jet now. I guess she ditched the motorhome of my childhood years, moved on to the convertible and then either met a very handsome multi-millionaire or did a hard-core renogiation of her contract with Mattel. Either way, well played, Barbie. And if you’re wondering who the brunette is on the packaging, it must be her new and opportunistic BFF who has latched on to the jet-setting lifestyle. Or one of the Kardashians. (As for Barbie’s whereabouts, those are her feet on the far right-hand side of the photo — I couldn’t get the whole box in the shot — but she is sipping drinks in the cabin with her seat definitely not in the upright position).
Item #2: The McDonald’s Drive-Through Center. First of all, it was news to me that McDonald’s has a whole line of toys. So, not only can you get this fabulous set, but you can also really pimp it out with a host of fast food and other accessories (the cash register and, of course, the McFlurry maker) for the full Golden Arches experience. Trust me, I’m not all sanctimommy when it comes to fast food, but this just seems, well, a bit off. I don’t need my toddlers knowing about the McRib just yet (I fear it myself). Or a deep fryer. Maybe it’s just me.
Item #3. The 100% Official Simpsons Super Donut Factory. Doh! Now we’re talking. I could make a case to bump an Easy Bake Oven from any kid’s list in favor of this find. I’m waiting for them to add the Kwik-E-Mart toy that produces Squishees. Next year, Santa — please!
If you guys have others to add, please share. I need the entertainment.
And now back to my regularly scheduled chaos.
Wow, Barbie has really moved on up in the world. I had the orange camper and the early town house made of warped plastic that constantly fell apart. Earthquake!
The only way I’d buy the McDonald’s Drive Through Center for my kid is if it came with a functioning drive-through speaker from which you can hear Morgan Spurlock’s voice screaming, “Run for your lives,” and the McMortuary add-on. Might as well have them learn the full lesson in each play session. 😉
Ah, you came back after the wretched Christmas songs after all 🙂
Entitled Barbie is so awful. Was she such a spoiled tramp when we were all kids?
Where does Barbie get her money anyway? I’ve always thought she was a prostitute, but have been nearly beheaded for suggesting this notion to Barbie fans. But the cars, vacations, glam wardrobe – who is paying for all that?
As far as the McDonald’s toy driverthru? I’s say the toy apocalypse is here!
I agree — it’s possible that the next edition of her jet will be named Mile High Barbie.