Remember when I said I would try my best not to get stressed out this holiday season? And then remember when I said it probably wouldn’t work? Guess what? I know myself well — I’m getting all stressed out.
I decided I needed a distraction, so I resurrected a post (below) that I wrote around this time last year. Perhaps I’ll make it an annual blog tradition.
Because, if you listen to any Christmas music at all — and I know many of you do, even if you won’t say so — you have some cheesy favorites that you sing, at full volume, when driving in your car or at home alone. And you’d never own up to them at a party.
So, I bring you a public service — The Fordeville Christmas Music Confessional. I’ve owned up to all my holiday favorites — shamelessly — and now you have a place where you can do the same. And we’ll never speak of it outside this blog.
Come all ye cheesy and tell us what you’re singing when nobody is around.
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Christmas Music Confessional
It’s true — I love Christmas music. But that’s not the confession — the confession is that some of my favorites are cheesy. Extremely cheesy. And I know I’m not alone — it’s just something nobody talks about openly. A dirty little secret, if you will.
But, look, I think we all get a pass when it comes to Christmas music. And I’ll go out on a limb and tell you my favorites if you tell me yours. Deal?
(This is feeling like a precarious one-way agreement right about now, but I’ll go ahead and trust you to play fair. Here we go.)
- I’ll start out safe and lead with John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over).” This song kills me. Tears — every time. Gorgeous and sad and sweet. As long as John & Yoko weren’t singing it naked in bed — that would ruin it for me. If you want to veer this song into cheesy territory, it’s just one remake away with Neil Diamond’s cover (I’m not a fan of that one. Trust me, I can do cheesy — as you’ll soon see — but I need the original in this case).
- “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” As a child of the 80s, I won’t even bother apologizing for loving this song. It’s my birthright. I remember my sister getting the 45 single (gulp) and we played it over and over. And the video — Sweet Jesus. I. Loved. It. My friends and I would make sure we knew which artist was singing which part and we especially held our breaths for the killer solos by Simon LeBon and Bono (the latter still being my favorite part of the song). I just looked online at the full Band Aid roster of singers and I think I feel my leg warmers falling down. Kool and the Gang? Really?
- Apparently nobody comes home for Christmas and there are all kinds of ways to sing about it. In that theme are two of my favorites — similarly titled yet very different songs: “Baby Please Come Home for Christmas” and “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).” Both of these have multiple versions, but on the first song I like the Eagles and the Aaron Neville covers the best. On the second, there is no comparison to the old Darlene Love version — but the U2 version is also great.
- Veering further into total holiday depressive mode — I love, love Joni Mitchell’s “River,” even if it makes me want to jump out of a window in utter despair. And — cheesy alert: There is a little-known remake of this song that is sung by, of all people, Robert Downey, Jr. Apparently, he sang it during one of his guest spots on Ally McBeal and it’s fabulous (the cover, not the Ally McBeal episode). The man can sing — and I just love him overall, so there’s that. Say what you will.
OK I’m saving my truly cheesy favorites for last. And I’m really hoping someone is going to come to my defense on these.
- I can’t even talk to you if you can’t get behind Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne.” No, I’m not joking. “Met my old lover in the grocery store — The snow was falling Christmas Eve…” Yes, that one. Fucking kills me.
And, finally, some real risky choices to tie this up. Strangely, both of these last two songs have the same name but are entirely different. So, under the category of “All I Want for Christmas Is You”…
- This one is a family favorite but not terribly well-known, unless you are one of the five global members of the Vince Vance & the Valiants Fan Club. I have no idea what else they sing — I think they are a country outfit — but what a great song, released in 1989. It’s got a twangy, sort of retro feel. And it’s pretty cheesy. Bring it!
- Lastly, yes, I’ll say it. I love the Mariah Carey song. I know, I know. Cheesy. But I’m owning it. I’m not typically a Mariah fan but there is something about this song. It reminds me of the old Phil Spector Wall of Sound (and if you don’t know what that is, then you have no business shaming me for my song choices — that’s a fair deal, I think). And after all the other downer songs I listed, it’s nice to have an upbeat, (almost) happy one in the mix.
So there you go — those are some of my holiday favorites, in no particular order. Honorable mention to The Ramones’ “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight),” Ella Fitzgerald/Louis Armstrong’s “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and The Beach Boys’ “Merry Christmas Baby.” I may add more later. But in the meantime, who’s going to play nice and tell me theirs?
“Klezmer Nutcracker” by the Shirim Klezmer Orchestra. Top that.
I truly can’t. And thanks for bringing some culture to my cheesy list.
i love the klezmer nutcracker too. and i’m not even kidding.
Cultured readers: 2. Fordeville: 0.
I have a scary happy song – “last christmas” by WHAM!…I picture my mom with her leather, knuckle-less driving gloves at two and ten opening and closing her fingers against the steering wheel to the beat. Have to listen to the whole terrible song every time.
Aw, that’s a great memory flood. And now Wham owns you every year 😉
Merry Christmas, Baby by, yes, The Carpenters.
Good thing for you that all radio stations seem to have some kind of Carpenters holiday song quota to meet every year. And also Anne Murray.
Omg!!!! I LOVE that country song “All I Want for Christmas is You”!! I think it’s beautiful!!!!! And I love Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”…even though I don’t like most of her songs! I also adore Brenda Lee’s “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”, Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas”, Trans Siberian Orchestra’s “Carol of the Bells”, Luther Vandross’ “Little Drummer Boy” (SO gorgeous!!), and…..this is the one you have to brace yourself for: from “Mame” the musical, “We Need a Little Christmas”! ;D Merry Christmas!! : )
Nice! I know them all except the Mame song.
{Oh and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra totally stresses me out. Not sure why but it gives me complete anxiety.}
Because you think of the movie Home Alone and you never want to forget one of your kids when you go on a trip the way Kate McCallister (Catherine O’Hara) forgot Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin)! ; )
I can’t help but be a Santa Baby fan. To the point where I even nauseate myself. But I have to give a shout to Wham, too.
But my guilty Christmas pleasure? “Christmas Wrapping,” by The Waitresses. Yeah, I forgot cranberries, too.
I should have had an over/under on when The Waitresses would come up! Nice picks.
I too am weepy – looking at the “do they know it’s christmas” video … was it really 27 years ago? how did this happen?
love Nessa’s reminder re Wham – absolute essential contribution to xmas…
27 years? Bite your tongue. It’s impossible if you and I are only 22!
Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby – can’t beat the original!!
An honorable mention to the aforementioned U2 Christmas (Baby Please Come Home).
Now if only we could get some appropriate weather to get us all in the spirit!
Oh, be careful what you wish for. Lest you forget last winter…
My #1 is Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. Still waiting to hear it. I LOVE Do They Know It’s Christmas – I always sing along. Especially when Simon LeBon’s section starts up. And Joni Mitchell – sigh. I used that song in ESL class. The Russian women loved it. I also like the WHAM! and David Bowie songs. Basically, at this time of year, I go between NPR and the lite FM station that is 24 hours of Xmas music. I get sick of right around Solstice. 🙂
I’m stuck on the reference to the Russian women loving Joni Mitchell. Fascinating.
i’m sure this is totally not in the spirit of the list, but christmas music always makes me think of “Come Back Home” by Everything but the Girl, which has the line “And every day’s like Christmas without you, it’s cold and there’s nothing to do.” And of course while googling this I found they actually have a song called “December 25th” but it so not what you are looking for here, though it is a pretty great song.
I will check it out — thanks 🙂
I love both of those “All I Want For Christmas Is You” songs! I have them both on my phone and play them regularly from Dec 15-25. I do 10 days of Christmas, that’s IT! And I dont like Christmas music in general, people call me the grinch. (Sorry to comment on a christmas post in April…)
<3 Devan