Spring Break: Then & Now

So, it has been a while since I wrote a new post and here’s the simple reason: Spring Break sucked the life out of me.

Did I travel? No.

Did I take on some huge endeavor? Nope.

I was home, with my two kids. And now I need a 12-day nap or a free evaluation at a sleep clinic.

I figured I’d be back on track and writing something on Monday after I finally dropped my kids back off at school. That went well. Because, upon entering the pre-school parking lot yesterday, I found it odd that I was first in the line for drop-off.

I’m never first. Never.

At that moment, in slow motion, my mind began to piece together the reality of what nary an SUV nor mini van in sight meant. Just then, the sweet school admin poked her head outside and I saw her mouth forming these words — as if out of a horror movie:

“No school today, remember?”

I saw her lips moving but I failed to comprehend what she was saying. Was this my native language? What the hell was she talking about? We just had. a. whole. week. off.

“Really? No school?” 

This was all I could muster. Probably because it’s hard to form words with your bottom jaw on the parking lot.

“Really! It’s Easter Monday! See you tomorrow!” 

She was so chipper that I hated to hate her in that moment. I mean, the injustice of it  all. I’m seven months pregnant and was actually motivated — and dressed — to go work out, against the gravitational pull of both the Earth and my secret Easter candy stash. That’s how desperate I was to break the routine of Spring Break.

“Uhhhhhhh. Right.”

Clearly this shock & awe attack stripped me of any elegant verbal skills.

Easter Monday? Is this like the Boxing Day of Easter? Or Cyber Cadbury Egg Monday? Had I known we were officially prolonging the holiday, I would have used the opportunity to repeat Sunday’s performance of solid dark chocolate for breakfast. Now I am behind by like 7,000 extended holiday calories {but working on it}.

Anyway, I’m 99% sure that now Spring Break is over. And I haven’t felt this wiped out from a week off since, well, Spring Break 1994. That was the year when my parents finally let me go away with a few hundred of my closest senior classmates.

For my first three years of college, my parents decided that they would go on vacation during Spring Break and have me come home, where I was put in charge of my sisters {who were, at the time, in high school and elementary school}. It’s pretty clear, in retrospect, my parents  didn’t realize the implications of this approach:

1) Anywhere between five and 25 of my college pals were “assisting” me in “watching” my siblings on any given night.

2) My friends and I were setting statewide recycling records in the form of empty beer can piles that could be seen from space.

And so, once I was found out, my parents decided that letting me go to the Caribbean for senior year Spring Break couldn’t be any worse than the antics I’d been hosting at their house for the past three years.

Cue Spring Break 1994. Looking back on it, clearly there were some obvious points of comparison to the past ten days I experienced at home with my kids.

• Organ Failure: In 1994, I wasn’t sure my liver would survive Spring Break intact. Last week, I wasn’t sure my ears or mind would survive Spring Break intact.
• Spinning Wheels: In 1994, it was roulette all week. Last week, it was Chutes & Ladders. Over and over.
• Hours of Operation: In 1994, I went to bed at 6am. Last week, I was up at 6am.
• Ear Worms: In 1994, the sounds of Ace of Bass were inescapable and made me insane. Last week, ditto Taylor Swift.
• Wardrobe: In 1994, it was bikinis and tank tops. Last week, yoga pants and maternity wear.
• Nutrition: In 1994, I was basically carb loading. Last week, I was basically carb loading. With a side of carbs.

Lastly, the turnaround of my academic ambitions shouldn’t go unnoticed. In 1994, I do recall missing, uh, a few classes upon my return from Spring Break. And yesterday, there I was, all lined up with my daughter and her backpack — a whole damn day early for the re-opening of the school.

I’ve evolved, I guess.

But I still need a nap to recover from Spring Break.