Progress Report


OK.  It has been a month of being a stay-at-home-mom.  And many of you have asked me how I’m doing with the transition (thanks for that).  So I feel I owe you a progress report.

To keep my workplace communication skills sharp, I thought I’d do this in summary form.

Bottom Line:  All is well.  I’m happy.  My kids seem happy, even though they may not grasp the change that has occurred.  {Exception:  Whenever my son, 4, gets in trouble, he asks me which train I’m getting on/when I’m going to work.  Sorry, pal, there’s a new sheriff in town.}

Things I Miss About Work:

  • Ongoing adult interaction with some fabulous people
  • The awesome cafeteria woman who made me a perfect grilled chicken wrap every day
  • That’s about it

Things I’m So Glad to Be Without:

  • Commuting
  • Evil blinking red light on Blackberry
  • The word “synergy”
  • Early warning signs of a stroke

Biggest Challenges:

  • Showering
  • Getting the kids out the door in a human amount of time
  • Finding 10 minutes to make a personal phone call/email
  • Parking at Starbucks
  • All the schlepping in and out of the car seats
  • Deciding which aisle I like best at Trader Joe’s

Top Phrases That Come Out of My Mouth:

  • “Who’s not eating?  There won’t be any [insert bribery dessert-like item here] if you don’t eat.”
  • “The seat belt/shoe/sock is not too tight.  It’s fine.”
  • “Share it or I’m taking it away.” {or: “How did I get to sound like my mother?”}
  • “Getinthecar, getinthecar, getinthecar.  I’m leaving — GETINTHECAR.”
  • “That birdie is called Twitter, sweetheart.”
  • “No, honey, I don’t know why Diego’s parents leave him alone in the jungle.”

Top Phrases That Come Out of My Husband’s Mouth:

  • “You used the oven again?”
  • “You folded all this laundry?”
  • “You vacuumed?”
  • “I think I see locusts approaching.”
  • “Prepare for The End of Days.”

My biggest win:  Mastery of Early Toddlerspeak

Our daughter is 22 months old, which means that she thinks she is speaking like the rest of us, when you actually need a doctoral degree in Mandarin or Sanskrit to decipher what she’s saying.  Since there’s a new word every day at this point, and I’m now home with her all the time, I speak her language.  This mystifies my husband.  For example:

She says: Shamon

Husband hears: Undecipherable filler word used in many earlier Michael Jackson songs

I know she means:  Lawnmower


She says:  Kreom

Husband hears:  A request to upgrade from milk to heavy cream

I know she means:  Climb


She says:  Sveeee

Husband hears:  Child has located the missing piece to IKEA storage bin assembly

I know she means:  Swing


So, you see, things are going well.  I have made some mistakes and have had some crappy days, but on the whole, it has been a great change.

And it’s a good thing I’m home.  Otherwise, my younger child would probably be listening to vintage MJ with a cup of cream in one hand and an IKEA instructions manual in the other. 

Then again, I might have time to shower in that scenario.


Did you like this? Share it:


  1. Kristin says:

    It sounds like you are doing incredibly well! And yeah, your top phrases sound a lot like mine except I’d say they don’t “come out of” my mouth – they “leave shrieking and arrive howling” a lot of the time. Getinthecar – GETinthecar – GETinthCAR!

    Keep up the excellent work!

  2. Colleen says:

    It’s like you spent your days following me around!

    So happy to have found another NJ mom blogger. Thanks to @thetamom 6 NJ tweeters. I have a couple new people to follow.

    • fordeville says:

      Colleen, thanks for stopping by! Maybe we have enough NJ bloggers to get a reality show — but no guest appearances by Snooki.

  3. Ninja Mom says:

    That’s excellent translation.
    The girls said lalu when the wanted water.
    Now, getinthecar!

    • fordeville says:

      My affinity for languages is coming in handy. If lalu is water, how will I know if she’s trying to bust into my wine stash? Winu?

  4. So far so good! Glad to hear it’s going well.

    I agree – the car schlepping is my nemesis. And 2/3 of my kids can strap themselves into the car seats (only 1/3 can unstrap though which is annoying).

    Isn’t the bribery the best!!??!!

    • fordeville says:

      The car seat schlepping. Drives. Me. Crazy.
      Can’t you bribe the one unstrapper to undo the other two for you? Dangle a piece of candy from the rearview mirror like big fuzzy dice.

  5. Jessica says:

    Good to hear you are adjusting to your new life as SAHM. Toddler speak is very hard to translate.

    The best aisle at Trader Joe’s is the one with the wine. The next best is the one with the chocolate.

    • fordeville says:

      Yes, but let’s not forget the aisle rivalry of the cheese section too. It’s really a dilemma.

  6. anna says:

    this is fantastic, thanks for the timely update. next status report i’d like is how often your husband is saying his first three phrases in 3 months, 6 months… spoiler alert, times my husband says them: zero.

    • fordeville says:

      Sshhh. Don’t ruin my secret plan of tricking him into believing my domestic goddess status. It’s going to be *so* short-lived.

  7. This sounds exactly like my transition for the past three months! Thanks for capturing it so perfectly!

    • fordeville says:

      Wait. I’m going to be saying these things for two more months?
      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  8. Sharon says:

    Glad to hear it’s going well!
    Can you help me figure out what “sickaroads” is? Maybe you can ask your daughter, because my 22 month old says it constantly and is getting might frustrated with us that we don’t know what it is 🙂

    • fordeville says:

      I tried to have a consult with my daughter about your vocab dilemma — but at first she was all “I’m listening to Michael Jackson, I’m busy.”
      Finally she agreed to help and pointed to the strawberries in our fridge while rolling her eyes at the question. So maybe “sickaroads” = “strawberries”? Or maybe she meant that the translation is “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin.”

  9. Marilyn Root says:


    • fordeville says:

      Well, thanks — but I think the only part that qualifies as brilliant was giving up the day job 🙂

  10. alicia says:

    domestic goddess!

    • fordeville says:

      I’m a pretty good faker, eh? I almost have you convinced. And then you remember the college me and you know it can’t be.

  11. I screamed when I saw Shamon. So, that’s not really what he’s saying then???? Who knew??

    Glad it’s going well for you. I’m just back from my writers’ retreat, which was splendid. There will be a blog post in the near future, after I catch up on all the stuff I left behind. 🙁

    • fordeville says:

      If MJ is not saying “Shamon” in those earlier songs, I have no idea what it is. Someone tell me if I’m wrong — it has always bothered me and it makes it hard to sing along with any shred of credibility.

      So glad you’re back! Blogland is not the same without you. Can’t wait to hear about your adventures.

  12. Hilarious. Have your daughter call mine. I’m pretty sure they’ve been listening to the same Rosetta Stone.

    • fordeville says:

      It’s sort of like that scene in Airplane — “Excuse me, stewardess — I speak Jive.”

  13. Love it! Glad you are transitioning well!

    The vocab is hilarious!

  14. I recently “retired” from my career to be with my kids…am now something between a SAHM and a WAHM. I miss terribly the Pret A Manger that was in the ground level of my office building, where I got the best b’fast & lunch every day. But like you I so don’t miss the officespeak. “Do you have the bandwidth to regroup and brainstorm on my new account? We need a big idea, something with lots of legs, a true 360 approach…” Barf.

    • fordeville says:

      Barf is right!
      And, after reading that quote, I’m starting to think we worked in the same office 🙂

Speak Your Mind