Are We There Yet?

We made it to Pluto North Carolina.  I say that with no disrespect to this beautiful place or its people — I just mean that it felt like the longest trip in the history of mankind, as I feared.

No, worse than I feared.  I’ll tell you why.  Because I tend to overshare.

Everything started out just fine.  The engineer husband, as usual, packed with impeccable precision.  Our trunk looked like an advanced level game of Jenga.

We were ready for the open road.  For our adventure.  Bring it.

And then our momentum was kind of deflated at a traffic standstill just 30 miles from home.  Which was discouraging.  The kids got restless.  I started to stare at the (un)moving blue GPS dot on my map and tried to will it to go faster.  Maybe it was broken, I thought. My kids must get the unpatient gene from me.  Just a guess.

Turns out that slow-going was to be the least of our issues.  My two year-old, as you may have read in the past, really is consistent and hates to miss an opportunity to vomit for any major holiday, getaway or other important occasion.  So of course she didn’t disappoint somewhere near the DC Beltway.  I thought it was a political statement at first but then she repeated the episode in Virginia.  Two more times. 

So when we rolled in to the Richmond area at the end of the first leg, she was on her fourth outfit and I was kind of beside myself. 

357 miles.  Four stops.  Three pukes.  Eight and a half hours. 

No wine.

Well, at least we got her out of the car for the night.  I figured that now we knew we had a car sick-prone kid in the family.

Except she wasn’t car sick after all.  As evidenced by the land-bound vomiting in the hotel room that next morning. 

There’s really nothing like 1) having someone get sick in a hotel room that starts to feel like prison after a few such episodes and 2) knowing you have to put a kid with a virus in the car for another four hours. Unless you want to live in the Fairfield Inn.

So, once she seemed a bit better, we threw ourselves at the mercy of the Road and Vomit Gods and set off for the second leg.  Not without some dread. 

That blue dot wasn’t moving quite fast enough for my taste.

Speaking of legs, let me not steal all the pity.  The whole trip was down to a last-minute “go or no go call” Friday night when my 13 year-old niece broke her leg and almost needed surgery.  But she avoided going under the knife, and her parents + three siblings packed her in the car with a hip-to-toe cast to make the trip.  How’s that for adventurous? 

Anyway, I’m happy to report that Day Two to Pluto went much better.  Because we fucking earned it after Day One.  The kids slept more than half the drive, nobody got sick and I even got my husband to turn off his heinous Sirius stations for a bit. 

We were told the drive would all be worth it.

And it totally was. 

It’s so beautiful here.  The house we rented is amazing.  The beach is glorious.  I don’t see any hurricanes in the forecast.  And I’m glad to report that, apart from the ride, my list of concerns has not produced any other issue. 

So there’s just one question remaining:  Who’s going to airlift us home at the end of the week?

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  1. Colleen says:

    We drove from NJ to Orlando in April.

    I hope to never do that again.

  2. OMFG!!! I feel your pain. Kids+long car rides = TORTURE. Then add in some vomit + Traffic and you might as well just kill me on the spot because I would be crying and vomitting along with everyone. LOL.

    WOW – that does look like an amazing house and ya know what, the kids (and you parents – especially once you get that wine) will have a great time and build wonderful memories.

    Enjoy the rest of your vacation and maybe your husband can figure out how to teleport you all home 😉

  3. Erica says:

    Sure! As long as you don’t mind me being a student pilot, and also having my flight instructor with us on the tiny airplane!! LOLLLL!!!! ;D

  4. Kristin says:

    Wow. Totally impressed with your perseverance. (It took me three times to spell that correctly. I blame guacamole.) Enjoy the time in paradise, and perhaps you can get one of those trains that takes you and the car back for you – separately.

  5. Suzanne says:

    We will NEVER attempt a family road trip. We can’t even handle a Drive-In movie! ; )

    • fordeville says:

      You’re smart — you know your limits. We felt like we should give it a try. And now we know.

  6. Ed says:

    thanks for yet another great blog reminding me i’m NEVER HAVING OFFSPRING.

  7. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry your poor daughter was so sick on the drive down. Hopefully you’ll all get lots of R&R now.
    We’re doing the same drive soon! We’re on the NJ/NY border and are gonna try the whole 11 hour drive to the Outer Banks at night…like we’re leaving at midnight Friday. Husband’s idea, of course.

    • fordeville says:

      We considered that strategy but were too fearful of being totally spent once we got here. Let me know how it goes. And enjoy — it’s great once you get down here.

      • we also do the stealth driving at night. our daughter gets car sick – which if it turns out your daughter does too lmk, i have tons of good resources we found i can send you.

        good luck with the drive back. we head back 5 hours tomorrow, already dreading that and the jenga style packing.

  8. Kerrri says:

    We will be heading to Charlotte in about 2 weeks! Give me strength!

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