Top 10 Things Sandy Made Me Say

Thanks to everyone who has written with words of support and concern.  We are totally fine.  The generator is running and my husband should get his own reality show for the extreme measures he has taken to hoard gasoline {don’t worry, we’re sharing it}.

All I really need, truly, is for school to open.  Well, that and more Nutella.  You can never be too careful about which non-perishables you keep in your pantry in a crisis.

Things are getting back to normal-ish.  Very slowly.  But with a new Nor’easter due to come through on Wednesday, we’re all hoping that there is no additional damage or power outages.

We’ve been trying to keep busy in the face of no structure and few places to go.  Yesterday, we ventured out to the mall and — out of nowhere — Santa was wandering the food court.  On November 3rd.  This must be a Special Edition Hurricane Sympathy Santa {SEHSS}.  Because, as you know, his mall co-workers don’t usually come out until after Thanksgiving.  We were all a little shell shocked, to be honest.  I think my exchange with SEHSS went like this:

Me: “Um, hi Santa.  You’re a little early this year.”

SEHSS:  “Why, yes.  Ho, ho, ho — I wanted to make sure the children of New Jersey were doing OK.”

My son:  “I don’t have my list together, I’m not ready.”

My daughter:  “I’m scared.  I don’t like Santa.”

Me:  “Santa, thanks, but it’s just too soon.  Honestly, you’re stressing me the hell out.  I can’t even deal with the thought of Christmas yet.  I am just hoping, in the near-term, to survive this food court lunch without a brush with salmonella poisoning. But we’ll take two lollipops if you can spare them.  And we’ll see you in a few weeks.”

* * * * *

In the meantime, I find myself saying things in this Post-Sandy New Normal that have never come out of my mouth before.  Ever.  Here are some examples.

  • “Yes, our generator is chained to a tree with a padlock.  Just in case.”
  • “You can borrow our gas siphon if you need it.”
  • “Yes, kids, of course you can have pizza for the 7th day in a row.  Probably tomorrow, too.”
  • “We have an odd-numbered license plate so our gas day is tomorrow.  See you in the line at 4am?”
  • “I need a change of scenery — I’m going to go work out.”
  • “What do you mean the wine fridge is burning too much of the generator’s fuel?  How the hell are we not prepared for this?”
  • “Did you get on the town-wide conference call last night?”
  • “I wonder what it will be like for the kids to be in school in July.”
  • “$2,300 sounds ok for a plane ticket to Florida this week.”
  • “Are you going to eat that?  Because I haven’t snacked in at least six minutes.”

I am making light of my situation because we are very lucky and dealing only with inconvenience.  But make no mistake that my heart remains heavy for the many who have a long, hard road ahead to rebuild their lives.  The level of devastation is just tragic, and I ask you to please keep them in your thoughts.

Here’s to hoping that something other than Sandy occupies my brain cells soon.

And please send someone to stage a Nutella intervention.


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  1. Toulouse says:

    You’re a true warrior maintaining your sense of humor in this situation. So glad to hear you and your family are doing okay.

  2. Erin S. says:

    Glad to hear you and your family are doing okay. As a fellow New Jerseyan, some of the items you listed above are things I never thought I would say before this storm too, especially the one on working out. Good luck with the recovery!

  3. I thought about developing a rock-hard body this week too since we were trapped w/o heat, light and internet, but the gym was closed. So I couldn’t even do that. And, I know you’re joking about getting gas @ 4 AM, but my husband actually went out at 5 this morning and couldn’t get any gas. He did find some later that day. Glad to here everything’s fine for you. We just got power back last night. How I missed it.

    • fordeville says:

      Our power came back last night after I posted this. Now we just need schools to open!
      {And I actually wasn’t kidding about 4am gas station trips!}

  4. Teri says:

    Kim I love that you can make light of this whole mess. Some without a sense of humor would probably lose their minds and go postal. So kudos to you for your wit and humor, and thanks for sharing it with us!

    Continued prayers coming your way!


  5. Santa? Already? I was driving home the other night and passed a home that had their Christmas lights on and I could spot a tree with twinkle lights through the window. The house next door still had their giant inflated jack-o-lantern in the front yard. I literally felt enraged. Christmas is a jealous holiday hog.

    • fordeville says:

      I understand your rage. I tried to keep it in check while my kids were there, but it took all I had not to tell the guy to bugger off until after Thanksgiving.

  6. sparkling74 says:

    Halloween night there were ads on tv for Christmas deals and I see that Santa is coming this weekend. Totally out of control.

    I don’t know how you are surviving without real power. I’d be losing my mind at this point. We didnt have power for 2 hours the other night and I kept thinking how good it would be just to turn on a light. During the day,it’s not so bad, but at night….. Wow. And I am a teacher but I hadn’t even thought about your kids being in school all summer. Just. Wow.

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