Post-Vacation Adjustment Disorder: Know the Signs

 

Ohmygod, guess what? Turns out that it’s totally possible to type while pinned under a pile of laundry that can be seen from space. I didn’t think it was — I figured I’d suffocate down here — but I’m pretty psyched to have found this air pocket.

That’s pretty much how post-vacation adjustment to real life goes.

I’m not complaining. I’m so glad we got away. But I do think that there is a clear and compelling business opportunity to help people slowly acclimate back to reality. It would entail someone unpacking your bags, cleaning the clothes, reintroducing you to the basics of driving and then cooking a few initial starter meals. For an additional fee, the Deluxe Surrender to Reality Package would also include Hazmat removal of the contents of the fridge and putting the kids through a medically-approved sugar detox program. Homework help would be billed on a per-assignment basis.

Yes, my kids are disoriented back at home and totally confused by the concept of structure. And sleep. And protein.

Iioulruiwoarjoejiuyby. Wetow[pei  Uiyualrjpf

{Sorry, I was trapped under the unlaundered socks and briefly lost the oxygen supply to my brain.}

Of course, it’s nice to be back in my own bed. And, hell, I’m lucky that, with this weekend’s snowy temperatures, I barely had to adjust from the Orlando climate we experienced. But still, Disney is a tough place to come down from. I thought I was doing pretty well but then I realized it’s a process and I have to be patient.

It’s important to recognize the signs of Post-Disney Adjustment Disorder:

  • You wait outside your house for the monorail to pick you up.
  • You continue to attempt to use your room key as currency.
  • You call any outings going “off property.”
  • You try to use your Fast Pass to get to the front of the school pick-up line.
  • You are continually disappointed that your meals are not in the shape of a mouse’s head.
  • You look for a “wait time” sign over the grocery store check-out lines.
  • You are shell shocked that nobody has wished you a “magical day.”
  • You look for the nearest Stroller Parking sign.
  • You assume that trash on the floor is going to magically disappear.
  • You steel yourself for the inevitable Rascal scooter running over your foot.

But don’t worry, we’re doing OK. I’m back to SUV road rage and excessive profanity, which are comforting signs. And my kids have finally stopped asking which characters are showing up to breakfast. Probably when they realized that Non-Caffeinated Pregnant Mom was other-worldly enough, and possibly material for a horror movie.

If someone could just send about 784 dryer sheets down to me in the basement — along with a plate of Mickey waffles — I’ll be all set.

 

 

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Comments

  1. PlayDrMom says:

    Awesome post. I returned to reality from the magical land of Disney a couple weeks ago … and have been suffering all the same symptoms!
    PlayDrMom recently posted…A Fun Activity to go with “Charlie Cook’s Favorite Book”, by Julia DonaldsonMy Profile

  2. Hey Kim, have a MAGICAL day. The fact that you miss this makes your PTVD even worse tha we thought. Someone get this woman into a bubble bath…STAT!
    Bad Parenting Moments recently posted…I had a BOOK BABY! (and other exciting news)My Profile

  3. Hillary says:

    I think you’ve tapped into what could be a very lucrative business enterprise. We did Disneyland, the beach, and Medieval Times all in one weekend and my kids were completely ruined for about five days after. What made it worse was we spent that entire time with the grandparents who completely spoiled them. Like, so blatant that I was shell-shocked afterwards. I would have loved someone to put them, and myself through a detox and fast track to reality.

    I’ll go in with you when you decide to launch.
    Hillary recently posted…Kick Rash! Butt Paste and $100 for you!My Profile

  4. Lori says:

    How true that is!! Readjusting from any trip, especially one involving the mouse, is deserving of at least another week before going back to work &/or any type of normalcy.
    Lori recently posted…Luke-ismsMy Profile

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