Sea Air

It has been a strange summer.

Our baby was born just before school ended in June. And so, it has been a hectic few months.

On the one hand, having a summer baby is great. No crazy winter clothing. Easier schedules and less schlepping the newborn around to the older kids’ activities.

On the other hand, this lack of structure for my two older children has been a challenge. Not that they need to be scheduled all the time, but they are feeling the effects of me being trapped under a nursing baby for what feels like 56 hours a day. When we do get out, we hold our breaths to see if the baby is going to scream his head off in the car. {Usually, the answer is yes. None of that car-induced napping here. Perhaps he disapproves of our minivan purchase and is firmly in the SUV camp}.

So it has been hard for the two bigger kids and, although they have been troopers, it does make me feel bad. I think we were all going a little stir crazy, even if in the warm weather of our own backyard.

While logging my 12,000+ hours nursing the baby, I saw everyone’s Facebook pictures posted all summer long — on the beach, traveling near and far, relishing vacation. I sighed when I looked at them. Let me be clear: I adore our new baby. And I know that the newborn stage is time-sucking beyond words, yet temporary. But, still, I did  feel that the summer was happening at an arm’s length. Happening to everyone else. I just wished for a little change of scenery.

Enter our good friends, who graciously invited our Van of Chaos to visit them at their beach house for two nights.

I have to admit, I hesitated. It’s hard to visualize how your two month-old is going to do in a new environment. Our baby is, shall we say, a crier. And I really cringed at the thought of him torturing everyone. But my husband made the executive decision that we were going, crying baby and all. The older two kids needed it. And so did I. It was time to pack up the minivan for a brief escape.

One of the perks of being married to an engineer is his ability to pack a disproportionate amount of our belongings into a vehicle in an efficient, Jenga-like manner. As you probably know, including the baby’s belongings into any trip, no matter how brief, instantly turns any family into the Griswolds. We considered bringing the Pack & Play, like normal traveling people with an infant tend to do, but the reality is that our child won’t sleep in it. Just like he won’t sleep in any of the seven other contraptions around our bedroom specifically designed for that purpose.

Except for the swing. We had to bring the swing.

Again, I hesitated. I’m not talking about a travel swing or any sort of compact item. Noooooo. I’m talking the full-size, tripod-like swing that has five speeds, including what we refer to as the Six Flags setting. It’s sort of obnoxious to rock up to someone’s house with a van full of crap that includes an industrial-sized swing. But these are good friends. I hoped that with some brief yet convincing reassurances that we weren’t, in fact, moving in for good, all would be OK.

And it was OK. More than OK. Our friends are incredibly gracious hosts. You know the kind of people who seem to effortlessly whip up gorgeous meals and serve them on beautiful plates and yet nothing feels forced or stuffy? Where everyone feels right at home? That is this couple.

So my older two kids played in the ocean and built sand castles with our friends’ kids. They ate ice cream by the beach and stayed up late and slept really hard out of sheer exhaustion. They were thrilled.

I didn’t hang out on the beach much with the baby. Because as great as it sounds {“Just put him in a tent or under an umbrella!”}, there’s something about the combination of sweating, sunscreen, sand and breastfeeding that just didn’t do it for me. But that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy myself — I absolutely did.

I went for walks near the ocean with the baby. I told him how he would spend many summers at my beloved Jersey Shore {with the appropriate and constant application of SPF 5 million — it’s never too early to start sunscreen discussions}.

I sat up on the deck of the house reading magazines while he napped.

I ate seafood and drank great wine.

I smelled the sea air, which is somehow so transformational and comforting. I had missed the shore.

And we even got some of our own summer getaway photos that I can look at when I see everyone else’s adventures online.

 

Good friends. Good conversation. Good food. Good wine.

Glorious.

And the baby? Hardly a peep out of him, and with his longest stretches of sleep to date. Clearly this can only mean one thing: We need to spend more time by the ocean.

Did you like this? Share it:

Lessons Learned From A Breaking Bad Marathon

I’m always behind when it comes to watching top-rated TV shows.

24? Never saw an episode.

The Sopranos? It took me a few years to get up to speed {shhh — this could get my New Jersey residency revoked}.

Homeland? Don’t get me started.

The one exception was Lost. I am fluent in all things about The Island {If you want to debate the finale, drop me a line — I could talk about it for days}.

So, with all of the buzz building about the final season of Breaking Bad getting underway, I decided to take my husband’s advice and watch the show from the beginning.

It turns out, I’ve learned a few important things from Mr. White and Jesse. Life lessons, if you will.

 

1)  Nothing will ever, ever break my cycle of chronic procrastination.

Many moons ago, I had a distinguished career in academic procrastination. 20 page paper due tomorrow? I’ll start it after dinner {where “dinner” = “beer,” back in my dorm in the early 1990s}. This was followed by an epic stretch of professional procrastination. 30-minute presentation today at 1pm? No problem, I’ll start it right after lunch {where “lunch” = “a trip to my co-worker’s M&M stash”}. One would think that one might grow out of this last-minute nonsense. Nope. I just never got past my distorted sense of space and time. Why, OF COURSE I can watch 54 episodes of Breaking Bad in a one-week period. While caring for three kids under age seven, one of which is a newborn. While school is not in session.

What?

 

2)  I’m more of a sprinter than a marathoner.

As long as we all know I’m talking about TV and not about actual running. Because if we were talking about real running, I would be neither of these things. I would be a casual walker who is easily distracted by the six frozen yogurt establishments on my route. But in terms of more rigorous activities like TV watching, I start out fast. I mean business. I am in it to win it. And then, yeah, I don’t know about the long-distance commitment. I just want to get to the finish line.

Kind of a crappy analogy, but I don’t run much. In case that wasn’t glaringly obvious.

 

3) Our basement renovation clusterfuck was, in fact, a good investment.

Wow. After the 5-weeks-turned-into-54-weeks project was finally complete, I have to admit that I don’t spend much time in the new basement. Before you shudder in disbelief, please understand that I still manage to put the new room to excellent use on a regular basis. For example:

  • “Kids, go play in the basement.”
  • “These toys in the family room all belong in the basement.”
  • “Is our clean laundry supposed to have a foamy, soapy layer? Or could that be related to the fact that I didn’t use high efficiency detergent?”
  • “Which wine fridge should I look in first?”

Even though I have not made a habit of lounging in the new Subterranean Money Pit up until now, this is where my husband put the mega flat screen man cave TV with Netflix. So now it’s Breaking Bad Marathon Central. My, it’s comfortable in the basement. In fact, I’ve realized, with disturbing clarity, just how much the new couches, new TV and overall comfort of this room are wasted on my kids. And so it’s settled: I’m moving into the basement.

 

4) The desert is no joke.

I’m really terrified of it. I’ve never been all that outdoorsy to begin with, but now I’m pretty much scarred by multiple scenes depicting brushes with death due to heat, dehydration, poisonous creatures, gun fire and any combination of these elements with that damn RV. Which leads me to #5.

 

5) I now assume everyone in an RV is cooking meth.

{Not really.}

 

* * *

I think it’s pretty clear that the time I’ve invested in my Breaking Bad marathon viewing to date has been well-spent. I mean, do you think I would have had these critical moments of self-realization and introspection if I had just been cleaning my house, combing through Pinterest and raising my kids? Yeah, me neither. Plus, I’m feeling much less self-conscious about the D I got in high school chemistry.

Unfortunately, despite my best procrastination efforts, I did not meet my goal of getting fully up to speed before the new season premiered. Maybe my expectations were a tad unrealistic.

But I’m not deterred. I’m staying in it. I’m on Episode 3 of Season 2. So, at this rate, I will have it finished before the baby goes to high school.

And then it will be time to re-do the basement again.

 

 

Did you like this? Share it:

It’s a Confetti & Lipstick Day

I have some really exciting news today. I’ve been waiting a while to share this.

NO, I’M NOT HAVING ANOTHER BABY. RELAX.

My eight week-old son finally gave me six consecutive hours of sleep. It was glorious. The colors of the world seemed brighter. Food tasted better. I completed full sentences. I considered throwing him a parade.

And while this is exciting news, it’s not THE exciting news I’m referencing. Although this full night of sleep helped confirm that I wasn’t hallucinating when THE exciting news happened.

I’m in another book!

Yes, back in the days when I only had two kids and, apparently, more time on my hands than I was smart enough to appreciate beyond measure, I submitted a piece for this book and crossed my fingers. You can file that under Things That Would Never Happen Now That A Newborn Lives Here.

Anyway, I’m really grateful I was selected. I’m in fabulous company — take a look!

Now, I KNOW that you all finished off your summer reading lists just last night, and woke up today desperately searching for a brand new collection of light yet brilliant* essays. Can you believe our timing? Fucking impeccable.

And OF COURSE you are already on Amazon today buying back-to-school crap. So while you’re there, just clicky on over here for the Kindle version or here for the paperback.

Did you click yet? OK, good. You’re the best.

Oh, wait. Just a little disclaimer for my craft-minded friends. My essay, as you’ll see pretty quickly, is firmly in the anti-craft camp. In fact, it’s called Confessions of a Craft Hater. Because it’s important for me to own up to this. I hope we can still be friends.

So that’s THE exciting news.

Now I have to go and pay for the bragging I did about the baby sleeping for six consecutive hours. I’ll be up until Sunday if anyone needs me.

______

*my essay does not fall in the brilliant camp

 

 

Did you like this? Share it: