Lessons Learned From A Breaking Bad Marathon

I’m always behind when it comes to watching top-rated TV shows.

24? Never saw an episode.

The Sopranos? It took me a few years to get up to speed {shhh — this could get my New Jersey residency revoked}.

Homeland? Don’t get me started.

The one exception was Lost. I am fluent in all things about The Island {If you want to debate the finale, drop me a line — I could talk about it for days}.

So, with all of the buzz building about the final season of Breaking Bad getting underway, I decided to take my husband’s advice and watch the show from the beginning.

It turns out, I’ve learned a few important things from Mr. White and Jesse. Life lessons, if you will.

 

1)  Nothing will ever, ever break my cycle of chronic procrastination.

Many moons ago, I had a distinguished career in academic procrastination. 20 page paper due tomorrow? I’ll start it after dinner {where “dinner” = “beer,” back in my dorm in the early 1990s}. This was followed by an epic stretch of professional procrastination. 30-minute presentation today at 1pm? No problem, I’ll start it right after lunch {where “lunch” = “a trip to my co-worker’s M&M stash”}. One would think that one might grow out of this last-minute nonsense. Nope. I just never got past my distorted sense of space and time. Why, OF COURSE I can watch 54 episodes of Breaking Bad in a one-week period. While caring for three kids under age seven, one of which is a newborn. While school is not in session.

What?

 

2)  I’m more of a sprinter than a marathoner.

As long as we all know I’m talking about TV and not about actual running. Because if we were talking about real running, I would be neither of these things. I would be a casual walker who is easily distracted by the six frozen yogurt establishments on my route. But in terms of more rigorous activities like TV watching, I start out fast. I mean business. I am in it to win it. And then, yeah, I don’t know about the long-distance commitment. I just want to get to the finish line.

Kind of a crappy analogy, but I don’t run much. In case that wasn’t glaringly obvious.

 

3) Our basement renovation clusterfuck was, in fact, a good investment.

Wow. After the 5-weeks-turned-into-54-weeks project was finally complete, I have to admit that I don’t spend much time in the new basement. Before you shudder in disbelief, please understand that I still manage to put the new room to excellent use on a regular basis. For example:

  • “Kids, go play in the basement.”
  • “These toys in the family room all belong in the basement.”
  • “Is our clean laundry supposed to have a foamy, soapy layer? Or could that be related to the fact that I didn’t use high efficiency detergent?”
  • “Which wine fridge should I look in first?”

Even though I have not made a habit of lounging in the new Subterranean Money Pit up until now, this is where my husband put the mega flat screen man cave TV with Netflix. So now it’s Breaking Bad Marathon Central. My, it’s comfortable in the basement. In fact, I’ve realized, with disturbing clarity, just how much the new couches, new TV and overall comfort of this room are wasted on my kids. And so it’s settled: I’m moving into the basement.

 

4) The desert is no joke.

I’m really terrified of it. I’ve never been all that outdoorsy to begin with, but now I’m pretty much scarred by multiple scenes depicting brushes with death due to heat, dehydration, poisonous creatures, gun fire and any combination of these elements with that damn RV. Which leads me to #5.

 

5) I now assume everyone in an RV is cooking meth.

{Not really.}

 

* * *

I think it’s pretty clear that the time I’ve invested in my Breaking Bad marathon viewing to date has been well-spent. I mean, do you think I would have had these critical moments of self-realization and introspection if I had just been cleaning my house, combing through Pinterest and raising my kids? Yeah, me neither. Plus, I’m feeling much less self-conscious about the D I got in high school chemistry.

Unfortunately, despite my best procrastination efforts, I did not meet my goal of getting fully up to speed before the new season premiered. Maybe my expectations were a tad unrealistic.

But I’m not deterred. I’m staying in it. I’m on Episode 3 of Season 2. So, at this rate, I will have it finished before the baby goes to high school.

And then it will be time to re-do the basement again.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Christina says:

    I watched all 4 seasons on Netflix in about 10 days (I have three kids, too. All home. All neglected.) Then when talking to a friend, I realized the 5th season wasn’t on Netflix yet and it was like a beautiful, glowing gift that I ran home and immediately spent $21 on iTunes for. Then proceeded to use every spare second of the day to watch those 8 episodes. The suspense is so much that I can barely stand it. Forego sleep like I did. Pull the covers over your head with that iPad and watch those episodes! Do it!

  2. Kizz says:

    How do you think all those people pay for their RVs?!
    Kizz recently posted…Are We Lovin’ It?My Profile

  3. Carrie says:

    Thank you, Jesus. I’m not alone. I do my best to set the DVR and record 412 episodes of a show I really want to get into, then I delete them all after the finale.

    Cause I didn’t watch a-one.

    Like True Blood. Wanted to. Planned to. Didn’t

    PS. I ain’t a crafter either. I admire those who are…but nope. Not I. (I read you on a flight today and it was fab!!)
    Carrie recently posted…I could call this My Husband’s Butt Hole but that would be totally misleading. In a way. Plus, he’d kill me.My Profile

    • fordeville says:

      Ditto on True Blood.
      And I’m raising my wine glass to a fellow non-crafter (thanks for buying the book!).

  4. Erika W says:

    Ooh, I was WAY into LOST. :D

    My husband and I have watched Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy via Netflix. We got thru 2 seasons of BB and then got sucked into the SOA vortex. Now I need to get back to BB. Great shows!

    I haven’t watched Homeland either. ;)

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