Comings & Goings

Not to sound all Girl Scouty, but girlfriends are gold.  Seriously.

If you’re anything like me, you have a precious few go-to gals in your life.  You can text them with random shit like your bad parenting moments. Or the Code Red crisis of Trader Joe’s discontinuing your favorite wine.  Or your catty commentary about the local mom who is wearing a thong bikini to Mommy & Me Swim Class {because we all hate her, don’t we?}. Or you can sit with them over coffee, wine, or a wheel of brie the size of your head, and just gab away.  About nothing.  Or about life-changing things.  They are equally interchangeable.

If you’re anything like me, you don’t find these go-to gals often.  So when one of them moves away, it kind of blows.  For lack of a more elegant way of saying it.

So this week I’m standing right in front of a revolving door of these fabulous friendships.  I have to see one off while welcoming another one back.

My good friend here in town is leaving our utopian New Jersey.  Something about her husband taking a new job and they all need to live together as a family, blah, blah, blah.  Ladies of Northern Virginia, you are lucky to have her.  If you dissuade her in any way from coming back to the fine Garden State at some point, you’ll have to answer to me.  Because I will forever be looking at potential new homes for her around here that could connect to my house via underground wine cellar/tunnel. Although this may mean a modification to my renovated basement.  In the meantime, I have to convince her to go to her favorite local bar one last time.  I’m concerned that they can’t survive the revenue hit of her absence without some advance contingency planning.  And that would be bad for others who are left behind.  Like me.

As I send her off, I’m awaiting a flight from Tokyo to land.  Finally.  After five years, I get another dear friend back on US soil for good.  This fabulous friend — one I met at work back in 1998 and navigated the crazy Single in Manhattan Years with — was another casualty of the Husband Job Transfer.  She picked up and left our beloved Manhattan in 2007 — promising to be back in about three years.  She and her husband had their daughter in Japan, with no family around.  They dealt with the devastation and insanity of last year’s earthquake.  They came to visit now and then, but the question always rang out of my demanding mouth — When are you moving back?!!  {Or maybe it was more like, Enough of this shit already — just move back!}  So what if they are two years late?  They’re back!  And moving to New Jersey, no less. It must be the hard sell I gave them.  Or the location of her husband’s job.  Either one.

This revolving door is a little dizzying.  But I guess it’s a little bit of kismet — the happiness of welcoming one back will distract me from how sad I am to see the other one go.

If you’re anything like me, you are starting to think that all husbands should just work via Skype and not have to relocate their families anymore.

And if you’re anything like me, you’re always happy to have your go-to gals.  Wherever they live.


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  1. Anna says:

    I love this post! And how I love my go-to gals! Sorry about your loss – and congrats too. 🙂

    • fordeville says:

      Thanks Anna. It’s a crazy week — but the good news is that there is wine to say goodbye and wine to say welcome back 🙂

  2. Meredith says:

    Awesome that you’ve got go-to-gals–what a blessing…and what is this crap about Trader Joe’s discontinuing your favorite wine?! Seriously!

  3. christine says:

    One of my BFFs is moving next week to – to all places Norway – something to do with her husband’s birthplace and family yadayada. You are lucky Heather is coming back and to New Jersey – which is kind of freaking me out and wondering if Jersey has some free wine program that is drawing you all there. If you happen to have a surplus (of great women and wine lol), please send to NYC c/o sad Mom in Manhattan.

    • fordeville says:

      Plenty of nice things about The Garden State…Do not make me go all New Jersey Department of Tourism on you. But if I missed a free wine voucher, please advise.

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