Twitching in 2012

Happy 2012, everyone!

Personally, I’m very happy to be in an even-numbered year again.  It’s just one of those things — odd numbers make me uneasy.  And prime numbers downright scare me {I’m looking at you, 2011}.  So, welcome, you beautifully even and divisible-by-much 2012.

And yet, I have been a little twitchy since we rang in the new year.  More than a little perhaps.  And I attribute this to two primary causes.

 

Twitchy Cause #1:  My blog was hacked on New Year’s Day.

Nothing really says Happy New Year like being locked out of your own site.  At first, I thought it was some kind of bizarro, Y2K-ish fluke.  I would go to log into my blog and it didn’t recognize my info.  Username.  Password.  Email address.  Nothing.

Did you ever have one of those moments — in school or at your job — when you typed up a long piece of work and then lost it before it was saved?  That internal {or external} scream.  I  kind of felt like that.  Times four million.

Ever the vigilante, I took matters into my own hands.  I turned to Facebook and offered Fordeville Blog Hacker Amnesty, which proved strangely unsuccessful.  I thought social media was a powerful tool, but now I’m not so sure.

So, I turned to professionals.  No, not those professionals.  Geeks before thugs, my friends — even in New Jersey.  I called my web hosting company and tried to muffle my sobs of despair.  And they were total rock stars.  They detected some malicious files placed on my site.  Files that, when I googled them, had all kinds of horrific tales from affected bloggers calling this malicious code “pure evil” and “a nightmare to eradicate.”  Great.  I had visions of my site redirecting to penile implant and bulk prescription drug sale ads.  Or worse — Lady Antebellum or Katy Perry fan pages.

I was twitching.  Who had control of my site?  Was it a Russian gang?  A nerdy teenager in his parents’ basement set up like NASA?  Or a mean-spirited blogger who really wanted my espresso martini recipe?  There was no way to know.

But the folks at Liquid Web fixed the problem, and all is back to normal now.  At least it seems.  Unless you are seeing a big photo of Lady Antebellum right now.  Or their music is playing upon entering my site — with no mute button.  If so, please alert me immediately and I’ll get you the far less offensive penile implant ad instead.

 

Twitchy Cause #2:  The Keurig arrived.

As requested, I got my new Keurig.  Wow.  It’s magnificently easy. Too easy, methinks.  Because, people, I’ve averaged about six cups a day since this device entered my home.  From the Desk of Captain Obvious:  This may be the real reason I’ve been twitching.

Also, I think I’m boring a hole through my stomach lining, one k-cup at a time.  In my unprofessional medical opinion, this ulceration can be alleviated by drinking frothed milk.  Right?  Good.  Because my mother, fearing the societal consequences of my Starbucks withdrawal, bought me the companion Keurig Milk Frother to enable my latte addiction in the comfort of my own home.  Which is pretty amazing.  Now I can be all skim-latte-but-no-foam-high-maintenance without getting dirty looks in public.  You rock, Mom.

And look what arrived today.  These should get me through the rest of the week.

I will say one negative thing about the Keurig, though.  In what I’d call a shortcoming of epic proportions, this thing doesn’t make very hot coffee. Really.  I mean, it’s hot.  Ish.  But once you add milk, it goes to lukewarm in an instant.  If I were manufacturing a coffee machine, one of the first things I might check is the temperature of the coffee.  But that’s just me, I guess — high maintenance and all.  Nothing a microwave can’t fix, but seems silly.

But don’t listen to me.  My brain is on caffeine overload and online criminal chasing highs.  I’m off to a twitchy start in 2012.

And I think wine seems like the logical antidote.

 

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Comments

  1. Ed says:

    I’m willing to bet your Facebook friends helped as much as they could. The important thing, though, is that you can continue to blog away. Here’s to 2012!

    • fordeville says:

      I didn’t mean to sound dismissive of the help I got from you! I had just hoped to catch the perp on top of it ;)

  2. anna says:

    mmm, i love lukewarm coffee (not even kidding) so i am clearly meant to have a keurig.

  3. SimplyChristine says:

    Agreed odd years make me nervous and had no idea that 2011 was not only odd, but prime. That explains a lot of my issues. Second – can I recommend the Mr. Coffee latte maker? Best gift I didn’t receive – so I prompptly took my Mom’s. I too had a keurig and a delonghi – until they broke at the worst possible moment – which is any moment in my life. The Mr. Coffee latte maker combines the perfect amount of milk (half n half in my case) along with the coffee – AT THE SAME TIME! I have saved hundred in a day by eliminating Starbucks entirely. Try one at Bed Bath and Beyond – you can return anything there – even old shoes. True story.

    • fordeville says:

      Excellent tip — thank you. I went out to Starbucks today and cheated on my Keurig. And I have to say, I think it’s going to be an ongoing issue until I get to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

  4. Please STOP the Lady Antebellum auto play on your blog!

    Kidding of course. Did I get you?

    I think you may need to cut back a bit on the Keurig usage :)

    I have one too and I agree that once you add milk to your coffee, you have to drink it quickly…unless you want to drink it cold.

    (My home office is upstairs and the kitchen is downstairs. Too lazy to walk all the way down for a microwave coffee warm-up.)

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